apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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