i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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