i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize