Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
