why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
