I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize