Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
