we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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