Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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