Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
