please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
