idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
