i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
