i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
