it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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