Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
