We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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