doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
