im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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