i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
