how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
