im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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