4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
