You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
