I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize