i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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