Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
