im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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