You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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