So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
