you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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