RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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