so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
