break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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