Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
