I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
