So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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