so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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