At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
there is glitter all over my balls
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