All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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