I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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