drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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