but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize