You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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