I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
