she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
