There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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