Whats the glycemic index on semen?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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