oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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