she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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