I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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