Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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