The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
