the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
4 words: hood of his car
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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