An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
