It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
