Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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