I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need a beard to bite.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
