It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
