I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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