Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need to calm my uterus...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
