He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
